Mother Lode of Stupid Baby Names

The Mother Lode of Stupid Baby Names

Bad Baby Names As we wait with bated breath to learn the name Kim Kardashian and Kanye West choose for North West’s little brother (because nothing else is going on in the world), let Magick Sandwich entertain you with its nearly comprehensive yet thoroughly incomprehensible list of stupid baby names and the sadists who came up with […]

Global Handwashing Day bacteria graphic

October 15 is Global Handwashing Day

The following piece was originally published on Worldwide Weird Holidays. It seemed like a good fit for the Sandwich as well. I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. —– October 15 is Global Handwashing Day We know, we know: eww! When it comes to that ill-advised hot dog wolfed at […]

Dump 'n' Trump

Dump ‘n’ Trump

Dump ‘n’ Trump One ends up a worthless piece of sh*t.  The other was born that way.

Vagina Repo Gwyneth Edition

Vagina Repo: Gwyneth Edition

The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam; You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.  Gwyneth Paltrow, GOOP.com […]

Googling Beckett

Googling Beckett

Sometimes a random typing error can make my whole day. I meant to enter the snippet of text I can’t go on, I’ll go on. How did poop become Google’s (sole!) suggestion for the letter p? Did someone really search for this? If so, somewhere there is a constipated English major waiting for an answer […]

Gifts for Idiots

Gifts for Idiots

In the crush of holiday shopping, it’s easy to forget to take time to thank the season’s real innovators, those who work at the frontiers of imagination to add ever more useless crap to the world. This season, let’s honor them with the ridicule they so richly deserve before consigning their wares to the landfill […]

Pink Ribbon Products bagel

Pink Ribbon Products from Car Horns to Handguns

What would Breast Cancer Month (aka October) be without a smorgasbord of pink-tastic breast cancer awareness-themed treats from cookies, mints, hard lemonade, jelly beans, popcorn and  PEZ to ribbon-shaped cakes, chocolates, cupcake sprinkles, lollipops, pasta and bagels? Rarely has life-threatening illness tasted so delicious. Of course, we shouldn’t forget the memorial pink ribbon products not […]

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