Unsung Bodily Functions Part 1
I think flatulence has earned our respect. Think how far it had to travel just to remind you that you had a taco for lunch.
Just for Fun
At a champagne brunch, ask for a virgin mimosa.
Faith Reconsidered
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
But not a new flower per drop, of course. That would be a doomsday scenario for the human race, pretty flowers choking out all life as we know it. Except possibly bees.
Superfluity
When seeing your proctologist, a breath mint is probably unnecessary.
Useless Revelation #1
I paid my dues, but I was in the wrong club.
Hindsight
You know what would be really sad? Lying dead in the morgue wearing a nicotine patch.
Why I Don’t Need the Gym
I exercised my right to vote. I might have pulled a muscle so I’m letting it heal. Can’t be too careful.