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7 Signs I’m Getting Old
1. I’m not sure if I’m middle-aged because I don’t know when I’m going to die. But with every birthday, the conceit gets closer to science fiction. 2. Two years ago, my husband and I went to an Ozzy Osbourne concert at Madison Square Garden. We were deaf for three days afterward and decided (à […]
Sandwich Fixins #5
At almost every supermarket checkout counter, there are signs saying, “Go Green. Skip the Plastic.” If plastic bags are so bad, shouldn’t we give this advice to dog owners as well? I’m only saying this because I would love to take a walk and see people bent over, fingers spread like a catcher’s mitt, waiting […]
Scent of a Yeoman
Be a Trekkie or just smell like one with this new cologne from Genki Wear. (Arguing that the correct term is Trekker does not make you cool.) Other scents in the series include Tiberius to help one emulate the je ne sais quois of a certain starship captain who’s popular with all manner of space […]
Begin the Day With a Friendly Voice
There should be only one Rush to rule the airwaves. Up with Lee, Lifeson and Peart! Down with hate-mongering Limbaugh! More: Stop Picking on Rush Limbaugh!
Ask the Right Question
Instead of asking if Bruce Willis, at 54, is too old for his bride, 30-year-old Victoria’s Secret model Emma Heming, we should be asking this: Isn’t she too old to be a model?
Unsung Bodily Functions Part 1
I think flatulence has earned our respect. Think how far it had to travel just to remind you that you had a taco for lunch.
Just for Fun
At a champagne brunch, ask for a virgin mimosa.