This blog is intended for adult entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, prevent or treat any disease. The tasteless and/or crude nature of its content should not be construed as a reflection on the moral character of the reader. If you believe you have reached this page in error, please realize that a record of your visit exists somewhere and may be retrieved in the future by any entity, governmental or otherwise, provided that the aforementioned entity has any interest in doing so. Author assumes no risk or responsibility for reader being “put on a list.” In case of accidental exposure, flush eyes immediately with water.
Je suis arrivée!
I have arrived! This is such a proud moment for me. I received this email from BlogRush today, a wonderful company that helps bloggers get more traffic in exchange for putting a large link on their sites. This message is to inform you that we have carefully reviewed your blog: Magick Sandwich And your blog […]
Idiocracy Now Qualifies as a Documentary
The movie Idiocracy will get a second chance with American audiences during its upcoming release as a documentary, say Hollywood insiders. Overlooked during its initial run as a comedy, critics found the plot too far-fetched, with a pro wrestler as president and a dumbed-down future in which Ow, My Balls! was the highest-rated TV show […]
Cancer Slut Lance Armstrong Dating Kate Hudson
I guess Kate got sick of balls slapping both sides of her chin.
Bush Saves Social Security?
“There’s not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.” — George W. Bush, on the coming Social Security crisis, Wilton, CT, June 9, 2000 At times, our 43rd president can be somewhat inscrutable.(I say this because it sounds so much smarter than subliminable.) The above quote came […]
More Louise Hay Garbage
I admit that I’ve whored around the Self-Help section of life’s cosmic bookstore, looking for answers. But since perfectionism can lead to procrastination, I stopped. Serial killers tend to have high self-esteem, too, but I found that out in the Psychology section, Self-Help’s educated relative a few shelves down. But there’s one old mindfuck that keeps […]
Bill O’Reilly Cures Depression
Yes, dear imaginary reader, I’ve been feeling Too Bummed to Blog, which should be listed in the DSM-IV. (If you don’t know what the DSM-IV is, wiki it, okay? I don’t have the will to explain.) This is one of those times when subscribing to updates from Funny or Die pays off. Part of the allure […]
Best Suicide Note Ever!
Proper execution (pun intended) is crucial for the note’s irony to be appreciated, considering the decedent’s inability to explain. Typewritten, in a sealed envelope found in a pocket, are the words, “I was cleaning my gun when it accidentally went off.”