This blog is intended for adult entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, prevent or treat any disease. The tasteless and/or crude nature of its content should not be construed as a reflection on the moral character of the reader. If you believe you have reached this page in error, please realize that a record of your visit exists somewhere and may be retrieved in the future by any entity, governmental or otherwise, provided that the aforementioned entity has any interest in doing so. Author assumes no risk or responsibility for reader being “put on a list.” In case of accidental exposure, flush eyes immediately with water.
Happy Awkward Moments Day
This post originally appeared on our sister site, Worldwide Weird Holidays. It seems like a good fit for Magick Sandwich readers, too. We hope you’ll enjoy it! (Feel free to share your own awkward moments in the Comments Section!) adjective US /ˈɔk·wərd/ 1. difficult to use, do, or deal with: The computer came in a big […]
The Mother Lode of Stupid Baby Names
Bad Baby Names As we wait with bated breath to learn the name Kim Kardashian and Kanye West choose for North West’s little brother (because nothing else is going on in the world), let Magick Sandwich entertain you with its nearly comprehensive yet thoroughly incomprehensible list of stupid baby names and the sadists who came up with […]
October 15 is Global Handwashing Day
The following piece was originally published on Worldwide Weird Holidays. It seemed like a good fit for the Sandwich as well. I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. —– October 15 is Global Handwashing Day We know, we know: eww! When it comes to that ill-advised hot dog wolfed at […]
Dump ‘n’ Trump
Dump ‘n’ Trump One ends up a worthless piece of sh*t. The other was born that way.
Vagina Repo: Gwyneth Edition
The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam; You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it. Gwyneth Paltrow, GOOP.com […]
Googling Beckett
Sometimes a random typing error can make my whole day. I meant to enter the snippet of text I can’t go on, I’ll go on. How did poop become Google’s (sole!) suggestion for the letter p? Did someone really search for this? If so, somewhere there is a constipated English major waiting for an answer […]
Gifts for Idiots
In the crush of holiday shopping, it’s easy to forget to take time to thank the season’s real innovators, those who work at the frontiers of imagination to add ever more useless crap to the world. This season, let’s honor them with the ridicule they so richly deserve before consigning their wares to the landfill […]