Just for Fun
At a champagne brunch, ask for a virgin mimosa.
Tag Archive for: 1-liners
Faith Reconsidered
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
But not a new flower per drop, of course. That would be a doomsday scenario for the human race, pretty flowers choking out all life as we know it. Except possibly bees.
Superfluity
When seeing your proctologist, a breath mint is probably unnecessary.
Useless Revelation #1
I paid my dues, but I was in the wrong club.
Hindsight
You know what would be really sad? Lying dead in the morgue wearing a nicotine patch.
Why I Don’t Need the Gym
I exercised my right to vote. I might have pulled a muscle so I’m letting it heal. Can’t be too careful.
Best Suicide Note Ever!
Proper execution (pun intended) is crucial for the note’s irony to be appreciated, considering the decedent’s inability to explain.
Typewritten, in a sealed envelope found in a pocket, are the words, “I was cleaning my gun when it accidentally went off.”
