The Bullet-proof Gentlemen’s Pocket Square from Sruli Recht is the latest in 007-style sartorial elegance.

Sold as a “non-product,” the pocket square known as The Damned was originally issued in a limited edition of ten two years ago. Back by popular demand, it has been reissued as an open edition.

It is made of military grade ballistic strength fiber, “to protect the hearts of men.”

This reminds me of an old Woody Allen joke, his reversal of an even Sandwich story of a person being saved from a bullet by a Bible. In Woody’s version, he is walking down the street with a bullet in his breast pocket when someone throws a bible out a window, hitting him in the chest. “That Bible would’ve gone through my heart if it wasn’t for the bullet.” Please don’t sue me for quoting you, Mr. Allen. I’m not selling anything.

Though it is proving to be a popular item, the Pocket Square does come with a disclaimer.

* If a gun is aimed at you, fired, and the slug hits you, you will be hurt despite the properties of the square; The impact of the projectile itself is likely to fracture, crack or break your bones bones and bruise you. According to the specifications of the textile, a ballistic projectile such as a bullet will not pass through thirty two layers of this material. We take NO responsibility for those who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way.

Duly noted. My question is this: even if it could protect the average Wall Street banker from a shot to the heart, doesn’t he know we’re going to go for the head shot, anyway?

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