Posts

Listening to Limbaugh

Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama. Of course, Rush Limbaugh couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut about it. He wrote the following to Politico’s Jonathan Martin:

Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race… OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, white candidates he has endorsed. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

How about this, Rush? An open mind might think that Powell sincerely believes that Obama will be a better president. Perhaps his experience with the Bush administration makes him more informed and thus more wary of a McCain win. If you want to get nasty about it, maybe he’s trying to wash off the stink of failure that’s all but ended his own political career; maybe he regrets his unearned loyalty to Dubya.

Perhaps it was Powell’s last flexing of political muscle, an eloquent endorsement of change or at least its possibility. Here’s a short excerpt:

…I’m also troubled by…what members of the party say, and is permitted to be said, such things as, ‘Well you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.’ Well, the correct answer is, ‘He is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian, he’s always been a Christian.’

But the really right answer is, ‘What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?’

The answer’s ‘No, that’s not America.’

Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion he’s a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

Then here comes this ham-fisted dickhead to throw his weight around. Should it matter? No. But it does. He opens the door for people like Pat Buchanan or George Will, who works hard to sound erudite and objective as he sinks like a stone, invoking Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

Well, I’ve been doing a little research of my own, Rush. Your most memorable quote, in my opinion, is this:

The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.

And the most amusing thing I’ve ever seen you do is your jittery impersonation of Michael J. Fox, set to Herbie Hancock’s Rockit by The Colbert Report.

Comedy Central’s online version cuts it off, possibly due to problems with recording rights or an abundance of good taste. You can see part of it at the end of Colbert’s “The Word” segment. (The word is “shameless” and it is right on target.)

One last thing, Rush. I’d like to suggest an endorsement of your very own.

Rush Limbaugh Oxycontin Ad

I think it’s right up your alley!

Related posts:
Bill O’Reilly Cures Depression
Idiocracy Now Qualifies as a Documentary

Copyright Magick Sandwich

Magick Sandwich

Idiocracy Now Qualifies as a Documentary

The movie Idiocracy will get a second chance with American audiences during its upcoming release as a documentary, say Hollywood insiders. Overlooked during its initial run as a comedy, critics found the plot too far-fetched, with a pro wrestler as president and a dumbed-down future in which Ow, My Balls! was the highest-rated TV show on Earth.

Thanks to the behavior of our president and the pretenders to his throne, this scenario is more “near-fetched”—to borrow from George Carlin—than ever. President Bush appears on Deal or No Deal.

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain pander to the fans on WWE RAW. Barack bowls. Hillary does shots.

Although Idiocracy is set 500 years in the future, it seems that our political hopefuls are appealing to the movie’s constituency right now. Are we that stupid? There are ow-my-balls-ish signs: Farmer Wants a Wife, Living Lohan, a hundred seasons of America’s Funniest Home Videos and counting. Et tu, Tom Bergeron?

Are the candidates that stupid? For an amusing yet sobering answer, check out this collection of the 2008 campaign’s most embarrassing moments.

Personally, I’m holding out for the La-Z-Boy with a toilet in it. Adult diapers were a good first step, but I believe in American ingenuity.

idiocracy throne

Now there’s a throne we can believe in.

Copyright Magick Sandwich