Tag Archive for: politics

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Air Sex World Championship Tonight

As if Air Guitar Nation weren’t cringe-inducing enough, there’s a new way for aficionados of fraud to strut their stuff: it’s called Air Sex.

Like all great pastimes, this originated in Japan. Its founder, seen here in this seminal footage, explains that it is a competition born of necessity. Apparently, Japanese guys are not having a lot of sex and need to practice. In the audience, the Japanese women in the audience appear unimpressed by their ersatz exertions.

The first Air Sex USA Championships took place last year and, as always, we Americans kicked it up a notch. First of all, we added women. Duh! There are several videos to choose from on YouTube documenting the event and I can’t recommend any of them, mainly because I can’t bear to watch them.

Except, that is, for one featuring a horny Sarah Palin taking office after McCain’s Viagra-induced frenzy kills him. (Could this be what Glenn Beck’s fever dreams look like?) The community theater on acid vibe only makes it more difficult to look away. Oh, and it’s acted out to the tune of “War Pigs.”

So if you haven’t barfed your kibble yet and have an interest in an evening of sexual karaoke, head to the Highline Ballroom in NYC tonight for the Air Sex World Championship. Real sex and orgasms are strictly prohibited, so you won’t need a raincoat. Cheer for Team USA and try not to be weirdly turned on: it will be hell on you to explain this to your therapist.
At the intersection of mime and lap dancing lies Air Sex!

Air Sex World Championship – Magick Sandwich takes a look at sexual karaoke and it isn’t pretty.

good rush bad rush

Begin the Day With a Friendly Voice

There should be only one Rush to rule the airwaves.
Up with Lee, Lifeson and Peart!
Down with hate-mongering Limbaugh!

good rush bad rush 

Rush Limbaugh on Hannity

Stop Picking on Rush Limbaugh!

Rush Limbaugh on HannityOn Wednesday, January 21, Rush Limbaugh struck a blow for freedom and truth. While others cowered like toadies of the new administration, he spoke truth to power, saying:

I hope he fails.

To be fair, the full quote is this:

So I shamelessly say, no, I want him to fail, if his agenda is a far- left collectivism, some people say socialism, as a conservative heartfelt, deeply, why would I want socialism to succeed?

See, that’s not so bad, is it? He’s qualifying his desire for the President (and by extension the U.S. government and all its citizens) to go down in a smoking pile of wreckage.

As he told Sean Hannity of FOX, he was just saying what everyone was thinking. He then chastised Republicans who’ve “drunk the Kool-Aid.” (Will that beloved drink ever live down the whole Jim Jones thing? Talk about a PR nightmare.)

We’re witnessing racism all this week that led up to the inauguration. We are being told that we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to bend over, grab the ankles, bend over forward, backward, whichever, because his father was black, because this is the first black president.

Limbaugh exposes the outrage of Obama’s not having the decency to have two white parents. Then again, I’m fairly sure that the press and those on both sides of the aisle suffered similar humiliation when forced to cheer for Obama’s predecessor. I imagine that must have felt like having Bozo the clown give one an enema.

In keeping with Mr. Limbaugh’s bracing honesty, I respectfully express to him my own heartfelt wish:

I hope you OD, you bloated pill-popping parasite, you weeping sore on the ass of humanity.

Related post:
Listening to Limbaugh

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Listening to Limbaugh

Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama. Of course, Rush Limbaugh couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut about it. He wrote the following to Politico’s Jonathan Martin:

Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race… OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, white candidates he has endorsed. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

How about this, Rush? An open mind might think that Powell sincerely believes that Obama will be a better president. Perhaps his experience with the Bush administration makes him more informed and thus more wary of a McCain win. If you want to get nasty about it, maybe he’s trying to wash off the stink of failure that’s all but ended his own political career; maybe he regrets his unearned loyalty to Dubya.

Perhaps it was Powell’s last flexing of political muscle, an eloquent endorsement of change or at least its possibility. Here’s a short excerpt:

…I’m also troubled by…what members of the party say, and is permitted to be said, such things as, ‘Well you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.’ Well, the correct answer is, ‘He is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian, he’s always been a Christian.’

But the really right answer is, ‘What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?’

The answer’s ‘No, that’s not America.’

Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion he’s a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

Then here comes this ham-fisted dickhead to throw his weight around. Should it matter? No. But it does. He opens the door for people like Pat Buchanan or George Will, who works hard to sound erudite and objective as he sinks like a stone, invoking Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

Well, I’ve been doing a little research of my own, Rush. Your most memorable quote, in my opinion, is this:

The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.

And the most amusing thing I’ve ever seen you do is your jittery impersonation of Michael J. Fox, set to Herbie Hancock’s Rockit by The Colbert Report.

Comedy Central’s online version cuts it off, possibly due to problems with recording rights or an abundance of good taste. You can see part of it at the end of Colbert’s “The Word” segment. (The word is “shameless” and it is right on target.)

One last thing, Rush. I’d like to suggest an endorsement of your very own.

Rush Limbaugh Oxycontin Ad

I think it’s right up your alley!

Related posts:
Bill O’Reilly Cures Depression
Idiocracy Now Qualifies as a Documentary

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Lehman Brothers emergency evacuation kit

Sandwich Fixins #3

It’s that time again when I’ve got lots of filler but nothing sandwich-worthy. So here it is, another serving of fixins!

*****

I think Rudy Giuliani should buy a Porsche so he can say, “Hi, I’m Rudy and this is my 9-11.” It would give him one more way to bring up his favorite topic.

Addendum: Why hasn’t anybody protested to get Porsche to change the name of that model out of respect for the victims? Someone should get on that right away.

*****

T-shirt idea:

Front:
Don’t hate me for drinking bottled water.

Back:
Hate me for selling crack to your kids.

*****

President Palin: If McCain wins and dies of some face-melting cancer, we’ll end up with the gerund-dropping vagina minder in office. I think if that happens we should swap out the Oval Office for the set of Hee Haw. It’ll make her presidential addresses seem more authentic. The Hee Haw guys could sing Gloom Despair and Agony in the background.

*****

The Wall Street bailout shouldn’t shock anyone. Millions of people use something every day to try for a bailout: it’s called a lottery ticket. It’s said that a person is more likely to be struck by lightning than to win the lottery. With the state of the world, getting hit by lightning might not be such a bad thing. I’ve tried standing with my ticket in a tin foil hat in the middle of a thunderstorm but that hasn’t worked, either. I guess I have no luck at all.

*****

Well, that’s all for today, boys and girls. I’ve got to get back on eBay and bid on more Lehman Brothers stuff.

Lehman Brothers emergency evacuation kitLooks like I’m gonna need it.

More fixins:
Sandwich Fixins
Sandwich Fixins #2

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Bush saves Social Security

Bush Saves Social Security?

“There’s not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.”
— George W. Bush, on the coming Social Security crisis, Wilton, CT, June 9, 2000

At times, our 43rd president can be somewhat inscrutable.(I say this because it sounds so much smarter than subliminable.) The above quote came from the Bushisms calendar on my husband’s desk. He read it to me yesterday and I responded with my usual, head-slappingly astonished, “What?”

But then a strange thing happened…I began to parse Bush’s message. In fact, I think it was prescient. Just a few years later, Bush initiated what may end up being the longest and most costly war in our history. He has already ensured that many of the young men and women who serve our country will never live long enough to qualify for Social Security. Maybe this is what he meant all along! It’s something to think about this Memorial Day weekend. That draft-dodger could be a genius!

I may have misunderestimated him.

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