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Don’t Cry for Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner wipes away tear

Anthony Weiner is finally going to resign. I think he should have done it much sooner. That he didn’t is an indication of his arrogance; to believe he could stay in office was as delusional as the idea he could take and send photos of his shaved genitalia and never get caught.

There’s already a wave of protest online. He didn’t break any laws. Republicans David Vitter, Mark Sanford, and Larry Craig did not resign over infidelity, soliciting prostitutes and lying about it. This is true, with an important exception. Use of government computers and smartphones to send photos and messages would be actionable.

I’m not convinced that a person who used Facebook and Twitter so inappropriately would be able to control the urge–to draw the line–at the office. I think Mr. Weiner may have known that was going to be exposed in the internal investigation.

Did anyone believe him when he denied sending the first crotch photo but said he could not say with certitude whether said crotch was his? That’s parsing the truth on a Clintonian level.

I just want to pause for a moment to address Ginger Lee, the porn actress who exchanged hundreds of emails with Congressman Weiner.

Gloria Allred Ginger Lee Anthony Weiner

Ms. Lee, he asked you to lie about your communications, offered to get you PR help and sent you a statement to give to the press saying he’d sent you only one short message thanking you for your support.

So you held a press conference with Gloria Effing Allred and announced that he always steered your conversations toward sex. Ms. Lee? You’re a porn star! What else would he talk to you about? Spinoza?

Geez, what a messed up world we live in. Sometimes it seems more suited to a Monty Python skit than to objective reality. It would be funny if it weren’t news. In our post-ironic you betcha society, humor, and self-awareness cede more ground every day to empty heads and earnest ignorance.

In the midst of this, a well-endowed Jewish legislator got caught waving his wiener. At a press conference this afternoon, he will wave the white flag. Hopefully, he’ll keep his pants on this time.

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2:25 pm Update:

He just resigned and I have to say that I feel terrible for him. The heckling was obscene. Whatever I feel about this man’s failings, he didn’t deserve that indignity. (Yes, I know how ironic that sounds.) He bore up surprisingly well in the face of inexcusable behavior by many of those in the room. There could have been no more cruel blow to his ego. I’m glad his wife wasn’t there. I hate to think what questions would have been hurled at her. I’m sure there will be much speculation about her absence. I hope they have a supportive group around them. Certainly, none of them were in evidence in that room today.

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June 17, 2018 Update:

>Who knew at the time it could get so, so much worse? Apparently, abject humiliation was an aphrodisiac for Weiner. He got off on the Danger, so to speak. On September 10, 2013, he lost the Democratic primary after receiving less than 5 percent of the vote.

On July 31, 2015, Weiner sexted a photo of his erection, mercifully clothed, with his three-year-old son in bed next to him. It surfaced in the New York Post on August 29, 2016. Hours later, his wife announced she was leaving him. Today, Weiner’s son spent Father’s Day visiting his dad in federal prison, where he’s serving a 21-month term for “sexting” a minor.

This dumb prick and his proud owner have wreaked havoc on a global scale. Huma Abedin worked on Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign. Weiner’s use of her work computer to send pics of himself in flagrante de-dick-to enabled the FBI to reopen its fruitless investigation into Clinton’s alleged email server abuse just days before the election and helped Donald J. Trump become president.

Putin, send your thank-you card to: Inmate #79112-054, c/o FMC Devens, Federal Medical Center, PO Box 879, Ayer, MA 01432.

More Weiner:
Weiner Watch 2011
Weiner Watch 2018: Your Dad’s Not So Bad
Anthony Weiner Waves His Wiener Once More
Copyright Notice 2018 Magick Sandwich

Weiner Watch 2011

Anthony Weiner

What’s that in your eye?

As of this writing, Congressman Anthony Weiner has refused to resign over sending photographs of his suspicious package to young girls across this great nation of ours. Predictions as to when he will cave under pressure continue apace. I think it will happen Friday at the latest, sooner if Nancy Pelosi gets her hands on him. But I’m no Jimmy the Greek–for all I know, it’s happening right now. It’s anybody’s guess.

The only certainty is that he will resign, despite his vows to the contrary. Weiner is discovering there is scant support for a crusading lone wolf type, especially when the improprieties revealed are so mind-numbingly stupid. I hope Eliot Spitzer has called to let him know that resignation is the first step toward image rehabilitation. I’m getting tired of watching him twist in the wind.

Anthony Weiner's wiener

The junk shot seen ’round the world.

The blogger who broke this story claims to have a more salacious photograph he is holding as insurance against retaliation from the Democrats. I submit that Weiner has more to fear from the Party than the blogger does. Any number of politicians–on either side of the aisle–could tell him damage done to the Party is not soon forgiven. This begs the question: what the hell is wrong with these people? Men, to be specific. Is there some sort of testosterone poisoning that causes them to secretly father children, to hire an escort from an online site or attempt to pick up a man in an airport bathroom, all while trumpeting “family values”?

And now a man named Weiner pitches a pup tent in his shorts, documents it, then shares it with young girls, thereby exciting himself all over again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Were he not a public servant, one might admire Weiner’s use of Facebook and Twitter to perfect his own perpetual erection machine. Then again, judicious use of pornography in the privacy of his own home might have achieved the same goal. And he’d still have a career. Facebook and Twitter are public and people share things. Who knew? Apparently not Congressman Weiner.

Anthony Weiner takes his place in a long line of idiots seemingly ruled by their dicks. Conservatives are taking this opportunity to call for the Democratic Party to return donations. Let’s get real here, guys. If the Republicans gave back donations after every sex scandal, they wouldn’t have the proverbial pot to piss in. They’re going to need it when they’re calling the kettle black.

Updates from Weiner World:
Don’t Cry for Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner Waves His Wiener Once More
Weiner Watch 2018: Your Dad’s Not So Bad

Copyright Notice 2018 Magick Sandwich