Je suis arrivée!
I have arrived! This is such a proud moment for me. I received this email from BlogRush today, a wonderful company that helps bloggers get more traffic in exchange for putting a large link on their sites.
This message is to inform you that
we have carefully reviewed your blog:
Magick Sandwich
And your blog did not meet the
strict BlogRush quality criteria.Reason Your Blog Wasn’t Approved:
Inappropriate Content Or Advertising: Obscene or DisgustingTherefore, your blog has not
been approved for use in our network.
Please do not take this decision personally.
We have decided to only approve the highest quality blogs
for our network.
You should remove the BlogRush code from your blog’s pages.
If you improve the quality of your blog, and you feel that
it then meets our strict criteria,you can try and resubmit your blog for review after 30 days.
Thank you for your interest in BlogRush.
Best Regards,The BlogRush Team.
Oh my God, this is so exciting—my content is obscene or disgusting! Not to quibble, but obscenity and disgust aren’t mutually exclusive, are they?
But this is not a wholesale rejection. If I can “improve the quality” of my blog, I can reapply after thirty days. Does this mean I just need to be more tastefully obscene? What does this word mean, anyway?
obscene adjective:
1. designed to incite to indecency or lust; “the dance often becomes flagrantly obscene”-Margaret Mead 2. offensive to the mind; “an abhorrent deed”; “the obscene massacre at Wounded Knee”; “morally repugnant customs”; “repulsive behavior”; “the most repulsive character in recent novels” [syn: abhorrent] 3. suggestive of or tending to moral looseness; “lewd whisperings of a dirty old man”; “an indecent gesture”; “obscene telephone calls”; “salacious limericks” [syn: lewd] WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University
Wow. That sounds like a review of Pink Flamingos. I’m not fit to touch the hem of Mr.Waters’ raiment: he is the Jesus of filth. How will I know when I’m being obscene? Like Justice Potter Stewart, will I know it when I see it? I certainly can’t imagine how to reverse something like disgust. Frankly, I’m a little thrilled to excite such a strong emotion.
Somehow, this is like the maxim that until you are mugged, you are not a real New Yorker. I prostituted myself to BlogRush and they said, “No, thanks, come back when you’ve washed up.” Now I can say I’m a real Blogger. (And I can get rid of that frigging link!)
I’d take the Blog Rush turn-down as a ringing endorsement…
After getting rejected, I noticed that other people had complained of being turned down or kicked off of BlogRush, when things like “The Tampon Blog” were still deemed wholesome enough for inclusion.
(Yes, I had to look–it’s a directory of places from which one can request free tampon samples. Forget about worrying if your period’s late–what if the mail is late? Eeww!!)
It’s been more than 30 days, so I technically qualify to re-submit my blog. The coolest thing about this is that it is probably even more “obscene” than it was then. But now, I don’t want their approval.
I have to go check my mail now. I hope my free tampons have arrived. I’ve already ruined two sofas and I’m all out of Bounty.