valentine's day heart

Pimp Your Vajajay for Valentine’s Day!

2024: When I wrote this thirteen years ago, I had no idea this post would be evergreen. Most things come and go quickly but every product and service I mentioned here is still a thing, more than a decade later. In fact, it’s become so mainstream that Gwyneth Paltrow’s This Smells Like My Vagina candle […]

Happy Father’s Day!

 

Feckless Douche of the Week: Scott Lively and his Pink Swastika

Update: Nearly 13 years ago, I named Scott Lively Top Douchebag on Life without Feck, my blog later subsumed by Magick Sandwich. Back then, he knocked Mark Williams off the pedestal. Williams dropped off the map after being kicked out of Tea Party Express because he wrote a racist blog post. Was he a proto-victim […]

picture of new Girl Scout cookie

When you waste your time in a comment section and need to justify it somehow . . . .

I read the news today, oh boy. And somehow chose to spend my time scrolling through a ridiculous number of comments and adding my own to the least consequential Washington Post story I’ve seen in a long time. For context, a top article today states Biden’s White House will distribute 400 million free N95 masks […]

valentine's day heart

9 Ways to Prevent Your Own Valentine’s Day Massacre

Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is the cruelest of Hallmark-induced holidays, practically guaranteeing a crappy outcome. Either you’re single and confronted with the perception that there’s something wrong with that, or you’re attached and no matter what you do, it will not be “romantic” enough. Since romance can be largely attributed to the hormonal rush […]

OhMiBod Vibrator iPhone App

Lonely on Valentine’s Day? There’s an App for That

It’s Valentine’s Day again, when lonely souls feel contractually obligated to search for a good time. They need look no further than their smartphones with the OhMiBod app, available since 2012 on iTunes and now, fittingly, on Google Play. This breakthrough for the hands-free onanist allows one to operate one’s vibrator remotely. Designed for touch […]

national simplicity day

Thoreau, Volume 2: Still Sh*tty After All These Years

I had a pretty good idea when I penned Henry David Thoreau: Beloved Bullshit Artist in 2017 for Worldwide Weird Holidays that few would care. But those who did take notice also took umbrage. Some were angry I’d devalued their Thoreau memes, as if such a thing were possible. Another felt I’d insulted the grandchildren […]

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