Gifts for Idiots

Gifts for Idiots

In the crush of holiday shopping, it’s easy to forget to take time to thank the season’s real innovators, those who work at the frontiers of imagination to add ever more useless crap to the world. This season, let’s honor them with the ridicule they so richly deserve before consigning their wares to the landfill […]

Pink Ribbon Products bagel

Pink Ribbon Products from Car Horns to Handguns

What would Breast Cancer Month (aka October) be without a smorgasbord of pink-tastic breast cancer awareness-themed treats from cookies, mints, hard lemonade, jelly beans, popcorn and  PEZ to ribbon-shaped cakes, chocolates, cupcake sprinkles, lollipops, pasta and bagels? Rarely has life-threatening illness tasted so delicious. Of course, we shouldn’t forget the memorial pink ribbon products not […]

Duct Tape FAIL Magick Sandwich

Magick Sandwich FAIL

Magick Sandwich has been on an unannounced (and unintended) hiatus while I’ve been working on a new project, a t-shirt directory called Greatest Tees on Earth. It’s been fun and time-consuming. I hope you’ll pardon my absence and enjoy these much more amusing examples of failure to communicate. Normally, I dislike the profligate use of […]

PETA Master Race poster

4 New Products to Try on Valentine’s Day

We’ve told you how to pimp your vajajay, get gorgeous with crazy beauty treatments, decipher her Valentine riddles, and enjoy some quality alone time with an iTunes app. Now Magick Sandwich brings you this dispatch from our annual genital Olympics. ***** Our tireless pursuit of hairless pudenda has claimed a hidden casualty. The pubic crab […]

Naughty Little Elf Gets Off the Shelf

Naughty Little Elf Gets off the Shelf

It all started innocently enough. The “Elf on a Shelf” is a pretty self-explanatory Christmas tradition that I thought would be cute to give to my niece. But I didn’t know it has a backstory that makes it special and not a little creepy — depending on how you feel about animated dolls. The elf […]

Anthony Weiner Penis poster

Anthony Weiner Waves His Wiener Once More

Back in June of 2011, I thought we had put the issue of Anthony Weiner to bed, as it were. He had finally resigned from Congress after a “sexting” scandal. Whether you call it moral turpitude or just good clean fun, Mr. Weiner, with his tailor-made-for-a-joke name, had shown an astonishing lack of judgment and […]

tombstone magick sandwich fixins

Sandwich Fixins #9

 When I can’t stand the clutter in the fridge, I bring you another serving of sandwich fixins.  ***** What’s the warranty on an exorcism? ***** I’m sad that Hugo Chavez’ body was too decomposed to be preserved and displayed like Lenin. It means no one will ever be able to break into his glass casket […]

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