Dump 'n' Trump

Dump ‘n’ Trump

Dump ‘n’ Trump One ends up a worthless piece of sh*t.  The other was born that way.

Vagina Repo Gwyneth Edition

Vagina Repo: Gwyneth Edition

The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam; You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.  Gwyneth Paltrow, GOOP.com […]

Googling Beckett

Googling Beckett

Sometimes a random typing error can make my whole day. I meant to enter the snippet of text I can’t go on, I’ll go on. How did poop become Google’s (sole!) suggestion for the letter p? Did someone really search for this? If so, somewhere there is a constipated English major waiting for an answer […]

Pink Ribbon Products bagel

Pink Ribbon Products from Car Horns to Handguns

What would Breast Cancer Month (aka October) be without a smorgasbord of pink-tastic breast cancer awareness-themed treats from cookies, mints, hard lemonade, jelly beans, popcorn and  PEZ to ribbon-shaped cakes, chocolates, cupcake sprinkles, lollipops, pasta and bagels? Rarely has life-threatening illness tasted so delicious. Of course, we shouldn’t forget the memorial pink ribbon products not […]

Duct Tape FAIL Magick Sandwich

Magick Sandwich FAIL

Magick Sandwich has been on an unannounced (and unintended) hiatus while I’ve been working on a new project, a t-shirt directory called Greatest Tees on Earth. It’s been fun and time-consuming. I hope you’ll pardon my absence and enjoy these much more amusing examples of failure to communicate. Normally, I dislike the profligate use of […]

PETA Master Race poster

4 New Products to Try on Valentine’s Day

We’ve told you how to pimp your vajajay, get gorgeous with crazy beauty treatments, decipher her Valentine riddles, and enjoy some quality alone time with an iTunes app. Now Magick Sandwich brings you this dispatch from our annual genital Olympics. ***** Our tireless pursuit of hairless pudenda has claimed a hidden casualty. The pubic crab […]

Valentine's Day snail facial magick sandwich

Crazy Beauty Treatments for Valentine’s Day

Welcome to Magick Sandwich, your source for all things Valentine! Since I’ve already listed 9 Ways to Prevent Your Own Valentine’s Day Massacre and taught you to Pimp Your Vajajay for Valentine’s Day!, it’s time to get serious about skincare for your special day. We’ve got some interesting products to get through so let me […]

This blog is intended for adult entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, prevent or treat any disease. The tasteless and/or crude nature of its content should not be construed as a reflection on the moral character of the reader. If you believe you have reached this page in error, please realize that a record of your visit exists somewhere and may be retrieved in the future by any entity, governmental or otherwise, provided that the aforementioned entity has any interest in doing so. Author assumes no risk or responsibility for reader being “put on a list.” In case of accidental exposure, flush eyes immediately with water.