I think flatulence has earned our respect. Think how far it had to travel just to remind you that you had a taco for lunch.
At a champagne brunch, ask for a virgin mimosa.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
But not a new flower per drop, of course. That would be a doomsday scenario for the human race, pretty flowers choking out all life as we know it. Except possibly bees.
When seeing your proctologist, a breath mint is probably unnecessary.
I paid my dues, but I was in the wrong club.
You know what would be really sad? Lying dead in the morgue wearing a nicotine patch.
I exercised my right to vote. I might have pulled a muscle so I’m letting it heal. Can’t be too careful.