Tag Archive for: Adolf Hitler

Feckless Douche of the Week: Scott Lively and his Pink Swastika

Update: Nearly 13 years ago, I named Scott Lively Top Douchebag on Life without Feck, my blog later subsumed by Magick Sandwich. Back then, he knocked Mark Williams off the pedestal. Williams dropped off the map after being kicked out of Tea Party Express because he wrote a racist blog post. Was he a proto-victim of cancel culture? If so, good riddance.

Isn’t it funny how perspectives change? It could be argued that the MAGA Republican faction is the deformed progeny of the Tea Party. On the other hand, the Tea Party seems quaint by comparison in our post-insurrection hellscape.

Well, stand back and stand by: Though we may have reached Peak Douchebaggery in 2023, Scott Lively still stands tall, long after publishing The Pink Swastika: Homosexuality in the Nazi Party.

After wallowing in this guy’s wretchedness for a post that would reach tens of readers, I was feeling a little, oh, I don’t know, pissed off, so I had some childish fun with Mr. Lively’s Wikipedia page, sprinkling into his bio things like, “He enjoys butt stuff in the afternoon.” Unfortunately, my edits are gone.

But this guy hasn’t gone away. I’m sure he’s proud to be branded an extremist by the Human Rights CampaignSouthern Poverty Law Center, and other groups. He has fought to pass anti-gay legislation in Latvia and Uganda and publicly praised Vladimir Putin for criminalizing “gay propaganda.” What a guy.

Did I mention he’s a pastor? He says has changed his focus from persecuting gays to spending more time with his flock in Abiding Truth Ministries, his tax-exempt church. Its website is appropriately named atmchurch.org, since Lively’s parishioners are his living ATMs.

And now, here is my inelegant segue into my original post, already in progress:

I first became acquainted with Pastor Scott Lively, president of “Defend the Family” and co-author of The Pink Swastika, on July 28, 2010, when he appeared in a segment of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Daily Show Scott Lively Gay Reichs

Jason Jones interviews Scott Lively, douchebag extraordinaire.

Pastor Lively told Jason Jones, “Open homosexuals are distinct from everybody else, men and women, in being exceptionally brutal and savage….Adolf Hitler used homosexual soldiers because they were more savage than natural men,” adding, “they didn’t have the restraint a normal man has. It was easier for them to do some of the terrible things that the Nazis did.”

Lively told Jones he wishes this cup could be taken from him:

“It’s not easy to be a person who tells the truth when a large part of the population doesn’t want to hear it. Frankly, I wish I’d gotten a different assignment….I woulda loved to just been hanging out on the beach someplace. But instead I got stuck with dealing with homosexual Nazis.”

Researching Pastor Lively, I discovered more interesting nuggets about Hitler and his cronies. The initial meeting of what would become the Nazi Party occurred in a gay bar. Each young Brownshirt was matched up with a homosexual male adult to initiate him into the league of gay Aryan supermen.

How to explain the extermination of gays by the Third Reich? Lively has a simple answer. “The Nazis did persecute homosexuals to distract public attention away from their homosexuality.”

I was shocked at the number of sites recommending The Pink Swastika as a source of well-supported historical facts being suppressed by gay activists and even by the National Holocaust Museum. The book is now in its fourth edition due to nice Christian groups all over the Internet plugging it almost as hard as they peddle the Almighty. [Note: I’m unsure what edition it is on now, but I found someone selling the 5th edition paperback on Walmart.com. I shudder to think what content Google will serve me now.]

Then it all started to make me ill. WWJB, people? What would Jesus blog? I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t take to the Web in support of a book that advocates murdering homosexuals. I’m not talking about the Nazis this time: I’m referring to Pastor Lively’s book, sermons, and life’s work.

“Pastor,”–because quotes should flank that honorific like traffic cones–you seem every bit as brutal and savage as the fantasy you promote as truth. Far be it from me to suggest that you tell this story to the next guy you see with a swastika tattoo. I’m sure he’d enjoy acquainting you with your feminine side.

But that wouldn’t be very Christian of me, would it? Not that I’m Christian; I’m not. But I have a conscience. Since you most likely believe in an afterlife, allow me to paint you a picture. Fire. Brimstone. You, servicing Satan’s balls for eternity. (I hear he swings both ways. You got a problem with that?) Bon appetit!

More douches:
Feckless Douche of the Week: Mark Williams
Feckless Douche of the Week: Rush Limbaugh

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crybaby stupid baby names

Stupid Baby Names Part Duh

crybaby stupid baby namesAt Magick Sandwich, we’ve been amassing new baby names since our stupid baby name generator featuring Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale posted a year ago.

First up is Bronx Mowgli Wentz, son of soon-to-be split Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. (How do I know they’ll divorce? I’m psychic.)

As Us Weekly reported at the time,

Don’t look for any deep reason the Texas-born Simpson-Wentz and her Illinois-bred husband opted to give son Bronx the same name as an NYC borough. “I think they just thought it was a strong name,” a source tells Us. “I doubt they’ve been to the Bronx.”

Their choice of Mowgli for the baby’s middle name? It shows “they’re huge Disney fans.”

So here’s the formula:

#1. Pick a borough of New York City. No cheating from the bridge and tunnel crowd—you know who you are.

#2. Pick your favorite children’s story character. To make it a little more interesting, it can also be a character from an animated film, a Broadway play, or the name of a company that feasts on parents’ wallets by marketing action figures and toy tie-ins. (But please, no Ewoks or Happy Meals. You need to give your child a fighting chance to live to adulthood.)

Here are a few of mine:

Staten Island Pixar
Brooklyn Paddington Bear
Manhattan Shrek

I actually like those. It almost makes me want to have children. Almost.

Speaking of which, there are already many tots in the world struggling under stupid monikers. Since we have a lot of catching up to do and many of these incredibly stupid baby names conform to no formula, I will have to list them and let them inspire you to come up with your own freestyle concoctions.

In the “I’m with the band” category:

Bandit Lee Way, son of Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. I’m guessing Dad is a Burt Reynolds fan.

Ikhyd Bronfman, son of Mathangi Maya Arulpragasam and Benjamin Bronfman. No wonder Mathangi prefers to go by her rap name, M.I.A.

Mars joins brother Seven and sister Puma in Erykah Badu’s clan. Mars is kind of cool, but the baby is a girl. Since her daddy is Jay Electronica, is she Mars Electronica or Mars Badu or Mars Badu-Electronica? That must make for an interesting birth certificate.

Now for celebrities trying to prove they’re imaginative by saddling their children with silly names:

Java Kumala, daughter of Josh Holloway of Lost. It’s kind of cute. I can’t wait for Starbucks to name a coffee in her honor.

Huckleberry, son of Bear Grylls of Man vs.Wild. With a dad named Bear, what did you expect? At least they used a boy’s name. Maybe Bear is a fan of Mark Twain. I’m glad he didn’t pick something from Dr. Seuss. Grinch Grylls would have been a little much.

Banjo Patrick, 5, might be a little jealous of his new little sister. His parents, Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor, named her Clementine Grace. Lucky girl!

Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha, daughter of Lilakoi Moon, a.k.a Lisa Bonet. Perhaps Mommy is using an incantation in which the more letters she uses, the better her chances of conjuring up a career.

I’ve saved the best for last. As we all know, Matthew McConaughey is a celebrity, seemingly blessed with more looks than brains. One thing is certain: he’s lucky his mother wasn’t on peyote when she named him as she might well have been when she named his brother Rooster. Now Rooster has continued the family tradition by naming his son Miller Lyte. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Start the therapy fund now, folks.

P.S. Wow! I can’t believe I almost forgot to include Adolf Hitler Campbell, 3, son of New Jersey native and Holocaust denier Heath Campbell. Adolf’s younger siblings are JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, 2, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie, 1, named for Heinrich Himmler.

His parents complain that the local Shop Rite refused to make a birthday cake with “Adolf Hitler” on it. According to a local news article:

The grocer offered to make a cake with enough room for the Campbells to write their own inscription. But the Campbells refused, saying they would have a cake made at the Wal-Mart in Lower Nazareth Township. The Campbells say Wal-Mart made cakes for Adolf’s first two birthdays.

Wal-Mart may have saved the little tyke’s birthday but methinks I spy trouble ahead. Of course, they could always home school the kids. Yeah, that would solve the problem.

More stupid baby names:
Still More Stupid Baby Names
The Mother Lode of Stupid Baby Names
The Stupid Baby Name Generator or Zuma Nesta Rock Paper Scissors: Home Edition
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