You Can Fix Stupid. It Takes a Bullet.
Someone dear to me who shall remain nameless was recently spammed at work by the resumé of a person I’ll call Mr. K. Though the spelling and grammatical errors grated and the cover letter’s promise to add value to the company rankled, it was the sheer number of emails that finally got my friend’s proverbial goat. After about fifty copies cluttered his inbox, he wrote back to Mr. K.
Dear Mr. K:
We may indeed have a position befitting your unique set of skills, positive attitude, professionalism, dedication, work ethic, ad nauseum.
Please report first thing tomorrow morning to our corporate headquarters at 69 Reade Street, New York, for an interview. We are always on the lookout for personnel of your caliber and persistence.
Everyone visiting Way Huge Software Company (Swollen Pickle Division) receives a token of our appreciation for visiting and interviewing with us.
Cordially,
I.P. Freely
The guy wrote back, “When would you like me to come in?”
No shit.
Okay, the guy could be forgiven for not knowing that 69 Reade Street was an abandoned building that had collapsed that morning. And obviously, the name of the company didn’t tip him off. He was sending that resumé out willy-nilly without noting where and to whom he’d emailed already. How do I know this?
He kept sending it. Finally, an IT guy had to block Mr. K’s emails to the entire department.
I hope he didn’t have his heart set on that t-shirt.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people are dumber than a box of hair.
This guy was probably baffled why he didn't get more responses to his email blasts. Heck, he's probably wondering why he's unemployed.
Bad economy. People are extremely desperate! I'll bet the joke reply wasn't lost on this guy. Gotta get that foot in the door! And people are doing crazier and crazier stuff…listing themselves on eBay, having billboards of themselves made, standing on the streets in a suit with a cardboard sign passing out their resumes, etc. Those are the folks who get noticed, make the evening news and get hired. Granted, spam is the worst way to go about it, in my opinion, but maybe he figures the squeaky wheel gets the oil. I'm just very grateful I'm not in a situation where I'd be willing to do just about anything to get hired.
Stupidity can be beautiful.
What a bozo! Just send him a jar of pickles and a rejection letter. He'll get over it…
@Susan: I wonder if he got even one interview. The guy was applying for a job that requires being too smart to do an email blast and not keep track of it.
@Pamela: You're being much too kind. He couldn't have known he'd received a joke email, Loser t-shirt and I.P. Freely notwithstanding.
As Susan said, he's sending email blasts to everyone in the department of each company he's targeting. But he's also doing it over and over. My friend's department had received hundreds of emails from this guy before it successfully blocked him.
Yes, it's a scary economy, especially living in NYC. The key to those guys wearing the sandwich boards on TV getting jobs is that they're good at what they do, not just good at staging a publicity stunt.
@Chris: That's deep and so true. I'm going to try to see it that way more often instead of being blinded by my customary rage.
@Don: Truthfully, my friend was lucky. He sent the email from his company address. If the guy had a functioning brain cell, he could have sued or at least tried to get my friend in trouble.
It could've turned into one of those legendary things that go viral on the internet. In my hands, hardly anyone will see it.