Scrotal Deodorant Wash: Product of the Week

Guys, place your orders for Man Junk, a new organic crotch wash made just for your schwantz, taint and family jewels. Here’s a bit of the ad copy:

How nice would it be, knowing that your significant other or one-night stand (hey, we’re not perfect either) is pleasantly surprised instead of trying not to breathe through their nose? Exactly.

That gives a whole new meaning to “going there.” At first, I thought it was a crazy idea. Then I thought about all of the insane things women do to stay pubically presentable, from waxing (not really Brazilian, by the way–that was a marketing ploy) to anal bleaching.

Someone’s going to have to explain anal bleaching to me; if you’re that close to someone’s asshole, it seems to me that the time for making value judgments has passed. It’s a little late to say, “Eeww, this place looks like a shithole,” am I right?

So, if your partner hurls and your dog faints when downwind of your weenie, get thee some Man Junk. No more worries about fummunda.*

Girls, play Secret Santa and sneak this into his gym bag. He’ll get the message that there’ll be no gifts under his tree (wink wink) ’til he deals with the stink.

Man Junk–It’s a product whose time has come!

*the cheese fummunda your balls, silly!

Copyright Notice 2018 Magick Sandwich

5 replies
  1. Debbie
    Debbie says:

    I started giggling the second I saw the word “schwantz,” and I’m still trying to stop! It’s always good to learn a new term and also find a new gift idea.

  2. Don
    Don says:

    Ahhhh, the ole ManJunk. Now there’s a great gift huh? I mean what man wouldn’t want ManJunk? I want ManJunk, and I’m even giving some to my girlfriend along with a spray bottle of anal bleach called “Bitchin’Butt Bleach in a Bottle”. Merry Christmas.

  3. kathcom
    kathcom says:

    @debbie – Schwantz is Yiddish and the “w” is pronounced like a “v”. I love saying it as much as writing it. I’m glad you like it, too!

    @don – If there were an easy at-home ass bleach, maybe I’d understand it a little more. You have to go to someone and lie with your legs up over your head to have it done.

    You know what, I still wouldn’t understand if one could do it privately. Regular asshole color sounds about right to me.

  4. kathcom
    kathcom says:

    @ettarose–Working for plastic surgeons, I met women whose skin was breaking down or infected in breast or belly folds.
    One time a woman was talking about it and I had to leave the room to retch. You just brought me close to it again! O, joy!


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