June 13 is National Pigeon Day – Ask Your Boss for the Day Off

June 13 is National Pigeon Day in Central Park. I found this announcement in New York magazine: “We’re trying to promote a positive image,” says New York Bird Club founder Anna Dove….“There’s such negativity for no reason. They’re harmless, defenseless. They can’t attack; their beak is very soft.” It’s great that these disease-carrying merde machines that […]

Magick Sandwich

Je suis arrivée!

I have arrived! This is such a proud moment for me. I received this email from BlogRush today, a wonderful company that helps bloggers get more traffic in exchange for putting a large link on their sites. This message is to inform you that we have carefully reviewed your blog: Magick Sandwich And your blog […]

Magick Sandwich

Idiocracy Now Qualifies as a Documentary

The movie Idiocracy will get a second chance with American audiences during its upcoming release as a documentary, say Hollywood insiders. Overlooked during its initial run as a comedy, critics found the plot too far-fetched, with a pro wrestler as president and a dumbed-down future in which Ow, My Balls! was the highest-rated TV show […]

Lance Armstrong, Cancer Slut, Dating Kate Hudson

Cancer Slut Lance Armstrong Dating Kate Hudson

I guess Kate got sick of balls slapping both sides of her chin.

Bush saves Social Security

Bush Saves Social Security?

“There’s not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.” — George W. Bush, on the coming Social Security crisis, Wilton, CT, June 9, 2000 At times, our 43rd president can be somewhat inscrutable.(I say this because it sounds so much smarter than subliminable.) The above quote came […]

Magick Sandwich

More Louise Hay Garbage

I admit that I’ve whored around the Self-Help section of life’s cosmic bookstore, looking for answers. But since perfectionism can lead to procrastination, I stopped. Serial killers tend to have high self-esteem, too, but I found that out in the Psychology section, Self-Help’s educated relative a few shelves down. But there’s one old mindfuck that keeps […]

Magick Sandwich

Bill O’Reilly Cures Depression

Yes, dear imaginary reader, I’ve been feeling Too Bummed to Blog, which should be listed in the DSM-IV. (If you don’t know what the DSM-IV is, wiki it, okay? I don’t have the will to explain.) This is one of those times when subscribing to updates from Funny or Die pays off. Part of the allure […]

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