Sucker Files: Q-Link

Straight From the Sucker Files: The Q-Link

Sucker Files: Q-LinkAccording to the April 2008 issue of InStyle magazine, Lindsay Lohan wears a powerful fashion statement.

“The Q-link is a metallic pendant worn near the heart that purports to adapt to your personal energy frequencies.”

Instyle says Madonna wears one, too. I hope this doesn’t clash with the frequencies of her red string anti-evil-eye Kabbalah bracelet. With all this energy bouncing around, can Salma Hayek (another purported wearer) pick up Sirius radio on her dental fillings?

It’s also said that the pendant may help to “ease stress, increase focus, boost energy and enhance overall well-being”. That must be after its energy has helped to boost money directly from the sucker’s wallet.

For a closer look at this harebrained fashion statement, click here. Rest assured, it looks equally at home hanging around the neck of an air-headed celebrity or any denizen of Quark’s bar.

Also available is the Q-Link Golf pendant, which purportedly protects sportsmen from harmful EMF radiation according to this handy equation: “less stress + more focus= lower golf scores”. It could just be that your fellow golfers are laughing so hard, they can’t make the green. But I’m so cynical. I guess it could work, right? Tiger Woods, are you listening?

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Lance Armstrong, Cancer Slut, Dating Kate Hudson

Cancer Slut Lance Armstrong Dating Kate Hudson

Cancer Slut Lance Armstrong Dating Kate Hudson

I guess Kate got sick of balls slapping both sides of her chin.
Magick Sandwich

Best Suicide Note Ever!

Proper execution (pun intended) is crucial for the note’s irony to be appreciated, considering the decedent’s inability to explain.

Typewritten, in a sealed envelope found in a pocket, are the words, “I was cleaning my gun when it accidentally went off.”


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Magick Sandwich

Once More Unto the Breach

The world does not need another blog, but I need it. I need to write but the idea of trying to get my work published paralyzes me. I would like to romanticize the Internet as the last bastion of lawlessness, where, for better or worse, anything can get in print. The problem is that everyone is doing it.

So I’ve resisted thus far. But I earned my degree twenty years ago and have published no more than a clever letter to the editor or two. It’s been nice to share work with family and friends, to take a class where my ego is massaged by professor and classmates (no pressure, no grades). I used to think maybe I could be happy being the person who writes funny emails or gives good quip at a moment’s notice. Maybe that could be enough.

I’ve denied and delayed but now face the choice: writing or the abyss. I guess this is worth a try. For me, writing is joy, my mind at play. The inter-cranial battle eases for a time. It shouldn’t really matter to me if anyone else reads it, but that would be a lie. My words will sit like a grain of sand on this virtual beach. I can imagine that a stranger will enjoy it. Maybe that could be enough.

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