Elton John, Wedding Whore, Sings at Rush Limbaugh’s Wedding
Seriously, are you shitting me? Elton John sang at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding this past weekend? Could this be the seventh sign of the apocalypse?
I wrote about Sir John almost exactly one year ago in my post, Elton John, Funeral Whore, to Sing at Michael Jackson’s Service. Even I thought I was being a little harsh. I should never have doubted myself. Once a beloved musician, John has become little more than a bloated gay mascot. Is his ubiquity at celebrity weddings and funerals a last grasp at relevance? Or just a dash for cash?
Rush Limbaugh, bloated Republican mascot, is a staunch critic of homosexuality. He’s no fan of California’s music industry, judging from this quip: “The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.” Of course, that wouldn’t apply to Elton John, who’s from across the pond. But this statement might: “When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it’s an invitation.”
Hmm, what would Freud have said about that? Does Rush secretly long to be a rump rustler? It certainly seems like he’s threatened by the temptation of a male tush. I can’t imagine any man (or woman, for that matter) being attracted to Limbaugh, puffed up like a beached whale baking in the sun and emitting the foul stench of decay.
Let’s leave such speculation to the experts for now. Rush, gay hater, paid Elton, gay star, one million dollars to sing at his wedding. Since Elton is worth close to quarter of a billion dollars, I assume he will donate the money to an AIDS charity. He has contributed millions to AIDS-related causes. Unfortunately, that does not keep Sir John from being a big, sloppy media whore.
Then again, I would hope he’d cover Rush Limbaugh’s funeral for free. I’m just not sure what he’ll substitute for Candle in the Wind. That seems to be his go-to tune. He’s tweaked it for everyone from Princess Di to Michael Jackson.
It seems to me
that you lived your life
like a cancer in the wind…
The first album I bought, that wasn't a cut-out, was Elton John's Greatest Hits. I want to say I paid $4.17 for it… but that seems pretty cheap.
That's all I've got for this. The Elton/Rush connection sort of leaves me speachless.
Ha! I have to say I had not heard about this and I am stunned.
But I spewed my coffee all over my keyboard at "rump rustler"!!! Ha! I have to say that I think I broke something as I was laughing so hard!
Thanks
Hugs
SueAnn
Oh my God! I just read your post and laughed so hard I woke everybody in the house. "cancer in the wind". Bwahahahahahaha
Wow, Rush, argh…
Elton's only worth quarter of a million dollars? No wonder he'll sing for jabba the hut! You are so right, Elton's such an embarrassing whore now.
As far as jabba the rush, you may be on to something. Here in Florida the state hired psychologist/reverend George Rekers, an anti-gay activist, as an expert witness for their quest to ban gay adoption. Rekers is all "… I hate the gays, gays suck!" Ok, the last part wasn't said publicly. Then, Rekers was found to have traveled to Europe with a male escort he picked out on Rentboy dot com. The only thing worse than a gay dude without standards, is a gay dude in the closet without morals or hygiene… Rush!
Like Maurice, the album I got (although bought for me since I was too young to have any sort of money), was also Elton John's Greatest Hits. I didn't realize EJ had fallen down the rabbit hole of relevance so far and so deep. Is there no explanation for this? Is the joke really on Limbaugh if John takes all the money and donates it to a cause heavily supported by gays?
I can't get past the "Elton John Funeral…" part! Thanks for the Friday laughs!
I heard this on the news and I *immediately* knew that you'd be writing about it. Many thanks for not disappointing!
@maurice: It does seem like an unholy alliance, doesn't it?
@SueAnn: I'm always glad to make someone do a spit take but I hope your keyboard is still working properly!
@Leeuna: I sweated that lyric and when "cancer" came to me, it seemed right on so many levels. I'm glad you thought so, too.
@rusty: Indeed.
@Laura: I should have said quarter of a million pounds and that was reported a few years ago.
Apparently, he'd be worth twice that if he didn't give so many millions to AIDS charities. My admiration for that almost keeps me from making fun of him. Almost.
And George Rekers–his defense of using rentboy.com was that he needed help carrying his bags…and then the photo that got leaked showed him lifting a bag while said boy looked on.
@Nanny Goats in Panties: Maybe he thinks he's winning over the homophobes? Doesn't he know that will never happen? He's given so much money to AIDS causes already that I can't believe he's doing this so he can say, "In your face, conservatives! I'm giving this to the gays!"
@Unplugged: I'm glad to see my tribute to Elton and Michael Jackson live on and make you laugh.
@HermanTurnip: Thank you for thinking so highly of me. Whenever I get a comment from you, I feel like I've done a good job. No bullshit.