Magick Sandwich

Unsung Bodily Functions Part 1

I think flatulence has earned our respect. Think how far it had to travel just to remind you that you had a taco for lunch.

Magick Sandwich

Just for Fun

At a champagne brunch, ask for a virgin mimosa.

Magick Sandwich

Faith Reconsidered

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. But not a new flower per drop, of course. That would be a doomsday scenario for the human race, pretty flowers choking out all life as we know it. Except possibly bees.

Magick Sandwich


When seeing your proctologist, a breath mint is probably unnecessary.

Magick Sandwich

Useless Revelation #1

I paid my dues, but I was in the wrong club.

baby with knuckle tattoo

Angelina Jolie, Beautiful Freakshow

When did Angelina Jolie go from being an S&M-crazed, goth bisexual to a beaming earth mother? Is this a sign of the apocalypse? She’s already taking Maddox to buy knives! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you’re into cutlery. Jolie’s mother bought her knives and look how great she turned out.) And she […]

Magick Sandwich


You know what would be really sad? Lying dead in the morgue wearing a nicotine patch.

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