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Useless Revelation #1
I paid my dues, but I was in the wrong club.
Angelina Jolie, Beautiful Freakshow
When did Angelina Jolie go from being an S&M-crazed, goth bisexual to a beaming earth mother? Is this a sign of the apocalypse? She’s already taking Maddox to buy knives! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you’re into cutlery. Jolie’s mother bought her knives and look how great she turned out.) And she […]
Hindsight
You know what would be really sad? Lying dead in the morgue wearing a nicotine patch.
7 Good Band Names
Every once in a while, a random neural misfire results in an excellent name for a band. Since I lack the talent or volition to form one, I share the fruits of my daydreams with you. Discount Buddha Fugue State Phantom Booger Pharm Animals Soylent Greenpeace Knuckle of Dung I also like Buzz Slaw, which […]
Why I Don’t Need the Gym
I exercised my right to vote. I might have pulled a muscle so I’m letting it heal. Can’t be too careful.
Thought for the Day
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.–Aldous Huxley The thing I like about this is that if I change a word, it’s still true. Check this out. Farts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Still true and maybe even more meaningful, right? I just improved on Aldous Huxley. […]
Lost your Job? Drink Up!
New Yorkers know how to find the silver lining in any cloud. That’s why a local bar has created a new night called LAID OFF MONDAYS. If you’re lucky enough to live here, skip that A.A. meeting and head to the Delancey, where you’ll get one “FREE SHOT OF TEQUILA at 12 am with proof […]