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3 Great Gifts for Lonely Friends
Shopping for friends who can’t seem to function outside of a relationship? Afraid you’re going to be drafted to fill in the gaping hole in their lives? Expend minimal effort to ensure they don’t come crying to you with Magick Sandwich’s 3 great gifts for lonely friends. The Boyfriend Pillow Shield your friend from that […]
You Can Fix Stupid. It Takes a Bullet.
Someone dear to me who shall remain nameless was recently spammed at work by the resumé of a person I’ll call Mr. K. Though the spelling and grammatical errors grated and the cover letter’s promise to add value to the company rankled, it was the sheer number of emails that finally got my friend’s proverbial […]
National Pigeon Day. Again. I’m Not Kidding.
The first National Pigeon Day on June 13, 2008, was patently absurd. I figured it was some kind of avian fluke. But it’s back this year and bigger than ever, taking place again in Central Park in New York City and launching a book heralding this foul fowl. Woody Allen called pigeons “rats with wings.” […]
Bulletproof Pocket Square: Product of the Week
The Bullet-proof Gentlemen’s Pocket Square from Sruli Recht is the latest in 007-style sartorial elegance. Sold as a “non-product,” the pocket square known as The Damned was originally issued in a limited edition of ten two years ago. Back by popular demand, it has been reissued as an open edition. It is made of military […]
To Reconstitute Man?
I can’t figure out Reader’s Digest Condensed Books. When I add water, they just turn into a soupy mess. I would think they would’ve improved the technology by now.
7 Signs I’m Getting Old
1. I’m not sure if I’m middle-aged because I don’t know when I’m going to die. But with every birthday, the conceit gets closer to science fiction. 2. Two years ago, my husband and I went to an Ozzy Osbourne concert at Madison Square Garden. We were deaf for three days afterward and decided (à […]
Sandwich Fixins #5
At almost every supermarket checkout counter, there are signs saying, “Go Green. Skip the Plastic.” If plastic bags are so bad, shouldn’t we give this advice to dog owners as well? I’m only saying this because I would love to take a walk and see people bent over, fingers spread like a catcher’s mitt, waiting […]