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Separate but Equal
I just want my opposable thumbs to get along.
Elton John, Funeral Whore, to Sing at Michael Jackson’s Service
Thursday evening, Elton John paid tribute to Michael Jackson at his annual White Tie and Tiara Ball, dedicating his song “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” to the dead pop star. Few people know that Jackson was working on his own version of Elton’s classic, tentatively titled “Please Let Your Son Go Down […]
Prescription Eyelashes: Product of the Week
It’s FDA-approved and has Brooke Shields as its “compensated spokesperson” so it must be a miracle product. What is it? It’s Latisse! According to the print and TV advertising, this product is for “inadequate or not enough lashes.” It’s nice of them to want to include customers who don’t know what the word inadequate means. […]
Stealth Porn
I find exercise videos and instructional manuals offensive. They’re so graphic.
Sandwich Fixins #6
Once again I find myself a few (magick?) sandwiches short of a picnic. So I offer you the condiments of my mind with another helping of Sandwich Fixins. ***** When you order Domino’s online, you can post your order to Facebook. As technological solipsism reaches its zenith, can the apocalypse be far behind? ***** My […]
Fart Filter: Product of the Week
Do you wake up with a wreath of methane hanging around your head from your significant other’s flatus following a Taco Bell bender the night before? Are you oxygen-deprived by the fart machine who works in the next cubicle? Do you enjoy emitting the foul, gaseous issue of your rectum in public but rue the […]
Air Sex World Championship Tonight
As if Air Guitar Nation weren’t cringe-inducing enough, there’s a new way for aficionados of fraud to strut their stuff: it’s called Air Sex. Like all great pastimes, this originated in Japan. Its founder, seen here in this seminal footage, explains that it is a competition born of necessity. Apparently, Japanese guys are not having […]