valentine's day heart

9 Ways to Prevent Your Own Valentine’s Day Massacre

Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is the cruelest of Hallmark-induced holidays, practically guaranteeing a crappy outcome. Either you’re single and confronted with the perception that there’s something wrong with that, or you’re attached and no matter what you do, it will not be “romantic” enough. Since romance can be largely attributed to the hormonal rush […]

Rush Limbaugh on Hannity

Stop Picking on Rush Limbaugh!

On Wednesday, January 21, Rush Limbaugh struck a blow for freedom and truth. While others cowered like toadies of the new administration, he spoke truth to power, saying: I hope he fails. To be fair, the full quote is this: So I shamelessly say, no, I want him to fail, if his agenda is a far- left […]

Magick Sandwich

Sandwich Fixins #4

Between the fear and the hope, 2009 is shaping up to be a bumpy ride. I might be a newborn foal taking my first wobbly steps or I could be Old Yeller wagging my tail at the man with the gun. Too soon to tell. Either way, I’ve got some questions. ***** Why does George […]

Listening to Limbaugh

Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama. Of course, Rush Limbaugh couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut about it. He wrote the following to Politico’s Jonathan Martin: Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race… OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, […]

Lehman Brothers emergency evacuation kit

Sandwich Fixins #3

It’s that time again when I’ve got lots of filler but nothing sandwich-worthy. So here it is, another serving of fixins! ***** I think Rudy Giuliani should buy a Porsche so he can say, “Hi, I’m Rudy and this is my 9-11.” It would give him one more way to bring up his favorite topic. […]

Stupid baby names

The Stupid Baby Name Generator or Zuma Nesta Rock Paper Scissors: Home Edition

Remember back in 1987, when everybody gave Woody Allen crap for naming his kid Satchel? What a difference a couple of decades make. In homage to the latest Hollywood couple upping the ante of sadistic baby names, I have come up with a very unscientific method of naming your next living, breathing fashion accessory. (By […]

Sandwich Fixins #2

  Fun Fact: The remains of Fredric Baur, the man who invented the Pringles can, are buried in a Pringles can.     Vocabulary Fun for a Good Cause: For each word you define correctly, the United Nations’ World Food Bank will donate ten grains of rice to help feed the world’s hungry.     […]

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