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Where Were You?
Hello, world! So everyone will know where I am during Michael Jackson’s memorial service, which I’m sure is very important to you all, I am blogging to you from my Blackberry while taking a dump…at Michael Jackson’s memorial service. Well, outside it. They’ve got golden Port-O-Sans out here. It’s pretty plush. There is so much […]
7 More Good Band Names
In case you’re thinking about dragging out your dusty guitar and playing at your neighbor’s barbecue this Independence Day, Magick Sandwich has the ready-made band name for you. Culled from the Captcha words everyone is forced to enter to prove they’re not robots, these names are sure to be a hit, or at least hip […]
Separate but Equal
I just want my opposable thumbs to get along.
Elton John, Funeral Whore, to Sing at Michael Jackson’s Service
Thursday evening, Elton John paid tribute to Michael Jackson at his annual White Tie and Tiara Ball, dedicating his song “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” to the dead pop star. Few people know that Jackson was working on his own version of Elton’s classic, tentatively titled “Please Let Your Son Go Down […]
Prescription Eyelashes: Product of the Week
It’s FDA-approved and has Brooke Shields as its “compensated spokesperson” so it must be a miracle product. What is it? It’s Latisse! According to the print and TV advertising, this product is for “inadequate or not enough lashes.” It’s nice of them to want to include customers who don’t know what the word inadequate means. […]
Stealth Porn
I find exercise videos and instructional manuals offensive. They’re so graphic.
Sandwich Fixins #6
Once again I find myself a few (magick?) sandwiches short of a picnic. So I offer you the condiments of my mind with another helping of Sandwich Fixins. ***** When you order Domino’s online, you can post your order to Facebook. As technological solipsism reaches its zenith, can the apocalypse be far behind? ***** My […]